Songs & Siblings
- Penny Colman
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
That's my sister Cam standing between me and Linda on July 29, 2014, in Haines, Alaska, where Cam and her husband Rich were managing a campground.
She was born in 1962, the year I turned 18. Same parents.
We were part of each other's lives during her growing up; but not much once she settled in California some 40 years ago.
The absence did not diminish our connection & closeness, a connection and closeness that Cam and Linda shared.
In 2015, Cam and Rich managed a campground in Kings Canyon, California. That was our last visit with them, Linda's first cancer and Covid having curtailed our travels.Cam gooked a massage us us, myfirst.
She regrouted a bathroom sink that was on my to-do list, caught up with family, visited the Women's Rights Pioneer
Monument in Central Park, and every
morning cooked an easy-over egg served with a salad for each of us.
Yesterday, Cam called to recommend a song, not sure what I would think.
"You'll have to twist a few words," she said. "But it's really catchy. You should listen to it every morning, get your tears out, and get on with your day."
The song is "Some Broken Hearts Never Mend" by Don Williams.
Knowing Cam was anxious for my feedback, I called to say that the song made me smile and dance. I also told her about the song that I lovingly played for Linda—"You're the Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me" by Gladys Knight & the Pips. (Links below)
(Many years ago, Linda surprised me with tickets to a Gladys Knight concert that was held on Valentine's Day!)
Regarding our siblings: I was born in 1944, and grew up with three brothers—Vin (1943-2010), Jon (1946-1966), and Kip (1948) who is in the right side image. It is February 29, 2020, and we are standing at Mary Nolan’s grave in a Jacksonville, Florida, cemetery.
Linda and I were in Florida for me to give a speech. As usual I had located women’s landmarks to visit. Kip and his wife Lisa, who have a house in Jacksonville, willingly joined us in the search for Mary’s grave. (Lisa found it.)
A suffragist, Nolan was arrested in 1917 for peacefully picketing the White House (Suffragist pioneered that protest strategy.) When the judge told seventy-three-year- old Mary that she might not survive imprisonment, she fired back—“Your Honor . . . I should be proud of the honor to die in prison for the liberty of American women!” The inscription on her headstone is: “I am guilty if there is any guilt in a demand for freedom.”
Linda had two short-lived siblings. Born in 1941, George lived for an hour, dying from a bungled forceps delivery. Kathleen, was born when Linda was 2 years old. Due to an RH incompatibility, Kathleen died after seven days.
An uncle offered to have the babies buried in his family's plot. There was no money for a headstone.
In 1998, Linda's teary-eyed mother Mary told me about her lost babies. Listening to Mary’s sorrow, all those many years later, deeply moved me. I had been immersed in issues of dying, death, and memorialization having recently published a book on the history of burial. When I learned that the babies’ graves were unmarked, I suggested that we place a headstone. Linda’s father George got his uncle’s blessing to do that.
We roused a priest to verify the dates of death, selected a granite marker, and wrote the inscription: "George Hickson III/Died Jan. 20, 1941-1 hour Kathleen Hickson/Died Oct. 31, 1944- 7 days
Once the headstone was installed we spent a tender time at the grave. Although Mary’s dementia had advanced since she first told me about George and Kathleen, it appeared that at some level she was aware and peaceful.
Links to songs:
“Some Broken Hearts Never Mend” Don Williams
“You’re the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me” Gladys Knight & the Pips
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